The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
FOREST OF FLAMES ARE NEW DUNGEONBOWL CHAMPIONS
BLOOD BOWL IV TO BE THE BIGGEST BLOOD BOWL YET
Eleven teams will be participating in the upcoming Blood Bowl IV championship tournament.
Last season, just five teams qualified for the Blood Bowl. With eleven teams this season, it's anyone's guess as to who will come out on top.
The lowest ranked teams, Stairway to Nuffle and the Harlequins B.B.F.C. have to win seven games to become this season's champion. The White Skull Windbreakers, Cenozoic Park, and Forest of Flames, being the highest ranked teams, need only win two games.
For some teams, being highly ranked can be seen as an advantage. However, for other teams, the extra games are a welcome challenge.
"We will GLADLY take the extra games to mend our wounds!", said Akindsir, coach for the Kind Peacocks. "We're down four players, one of which is our ogre. I only wish there were even more games to play on the climb to the top!"
This season has been the toughest yet and the eleven teams remaining undoubtedly have their most difficult games yet to come. Who will be crowned this season's champion? Find out when Blood Bowl IV kicks off!
Qualifying Teams
Lopen dives to score the final touchdown of the game, earning the Dungeonbowl trophy for the Forest of Flames.
WOOD ELVES WIN THE DUNGEONBOWL IN SHUT-OUT
The Forest of Flames defeated The Dead Poets in the sweltering heat of the Dungeonbowl final, 2-0.
JDWhitee's Forest of Flames won the coin toss and elected to begin the game on offense, scoring with no trouble on turn 8. In the second half, SBever's Dead Poets would lose a key player to heat stroke: Harrison the mummy. With the significant loss of blocking strength dealt to The Dead Poets, Forest of Flames would recover the ball after a key use of the wizard and put the game away, two touchdowns to none.
"SBever's mistake was not checking the weather before the game", said JDWhitee. "If you know it's going to be that hot, why would you wrap yourself in all those bandages? It's a rookie mistake, honestly."
"SBever told us all to dress with light, airy clothing.", said Harrison. "I'm just really shy."
As The Dead Poets will return for the Blood Bowl, we hope Harrison and the team spend the next few weeks training their self-confidence!
SBEVER PLANS BLOOD BOWL MURDER SPREE
SBever has not been shy about his plans for Blood Bowl IV.
"I am going to murder every last elf who dares take to the pitch in the Blood Bowl", he told the Gazette. Three elf teams have qualified for this season's championship competition.
Elfitus Australis are a wood elf team in the 5th Place Bracket. The Real American Heroes are a dark elf team in the Runners-Up Bracket. Forest of Flames are a wood elf team in the Winners Bracket. This means The Dead Poets could conceivably face all three teams. We asked SBever how he plans to accomplish such a goal.
"I am going to murder every last elf who dares take to the pitch in the Blood Bowl", he replied. When pressed for details, SBever started writing on a pad of paper, tore off the sheet he was writing on, handed it to us, and left the room without saying another word.
Below are the contents of that paper. Reader discretion is advised.
"I am going to murder every last elf who dares take to the pitch in the Blood Bowl. I am going to murder every last elf who dares take to the pitch in the Blood Bowl. I am going to murder every last elf who dares take to the pitch in the Blood Bowl. I am going to murder every last elf who dares take to the pitch in the Blood Bowl. I am going to murder every last elf who dares take to the pitch in the Blood Bowl. I am going to murder every last elf who dares take to the pitch in the Blood Bowl. I am going to murder every last elf who dares take to the pitch in the Blood Bowl.
"I AM GOING TO MURDER EVERY LAST ELF WHO DARES TAKE TO THE PITCH IN THE BLOOD BOWL. I AM GOING TO MURDER EVERY LAST ELF WHO DARES TAKE TO THE PITCH IN THE BLOOD BOWL. I AM GOING TO MURDER EVERY LAST ELF WHO DARES TAKE TO THE PITCH IN THE BLOOD BOWL. I AM GOING TO MURDER EVERY LAST ELF WHO DARES TAKE TO THE PITCH IN THE BLOOD BOWL. I AM GOING TO MURDER EVERY LAST ELF WHO DARES TAKE TO THE PITCH IN THE BLOOD BOWL.
I̴̮̮͓̩͎̲̽͑̉̿̍̑̓͜ ̷̤̪̰͈̻̼͔̏̇͛͆̓̾̅̓̋̃͊͐̋̚ͅḀ̵̡̳̜̦̬͇̟͉̉̿͘͠ͅM̸̬͍̪̹̪͉͈̿̉̀͑̐̈́̏̏ ̵̮̫͎̟͋̾́̇̾͑̋̈́G̶̛̘̟̮͓̞͕̥̳̉̑̑̆̀̂̓͆̏̚̕͘͘Ö̴̡͈̥͙̠̝̋͆̇̇̒̒̀́̊̒͝ͅI̵̛̝̲̥̼̲̜̲̝͉̟͈͌͂̀̏̅̈͠N̷̡̨̞͔͚̖͚̮̝̄͋͌́͗̇͠G̴̘̦͛͝ ̷̺̟̖͓͍͉̙̥͍̠̩̼͕̠̇̏̃̊͑̄̋̍̔̒̕͘̕͜͠͝T̸̡̰̜̰͈̘͕̹̟̈́̐̾̓̿̏̍͂͝͝O̴̢̩͍̳̹̲͇̙̬̙̖̲͙̯͂̽̓ ̴̣̫͈͇̭̭̘̽̎͌̊̍̒̄̈M̴̮̭̐̏̏͋͗̄͝Ư̸̡̢̛̖̩͙̝̘̖̮̖͆̽̎̍̊̃̏͜Ȑ̷̨͖͈͕̜͚̻͕̇́̈́͊̊͑̽̈́̑́͗́͐̓D̷̨̥̰̥̞̙̩̥̹̟̮̹̟͍̒̍͛̂̍͒̋̔̈̊̕͠Ę̴̻̹͚͇̯̼͔͙̺̞̻̲̓͊̌̈́͗̇̐R̷̨̧̛̛̝̯̞̞͕͂̅͆͗̅̐̒ ̸̢̹̗͉̦͕̥̥̮͔̜͉̥̱́̐̉̆̔̓E̷̡̜̯̤̲͓̳̗̲̔͝V̴̧̡̧͙̹̲̣̟͎̖͖͓̤͇̈́̉͑͊̕͘͜È̶͚̫̺̭̙̎̔̐R̷̞̉̃͋͆̕Y̷͎͚̥͖̞͍͇͚͈͋̿̅̀̿̀̉̂̊̈́͌͝ ̶͔̩̹̥̩͙̣̙͗̒́̽̅ͅL̴̨͚̝̲͚̞͋̊̔͛̓̊̇͜ͅA̵̞͙͓̿̓̅̈̋̅̍͋̔͌ͅS̵̨̢͎̹̯̣̪͔̼̗̺̭̙͒̍͌̐̔Ṫ̸̛̤̠̭͖̄̈́̇̍̃̓̀͌̄ ̸̯̖̪̞̘̹̊͆͑̚Ę̶̡̹̗̼͔̭͚̫̼͈͈̔̏L̴̟͕̣͚͍̗͎͚̅̐͛F̷̡͉͍͔̣̤̝̠̗͈̮̺̣̊̈̊̏̊̚ ̵͔̮̗̺͓̫̼̰̣̑̓̅Ẅ̷̗̱̩̯͙̰̯́̃̋̇͐̕H̴̢͍̙̣̞̟̾́́͑Ơ̴̖̂͌̍̋͂̓̀͛̄̌̔̉͝͝ ̶͍̌̎̐͒̍͊͝D̶̨͖̠̺͔̟͛̍̇̾̽͐̽Ȁ̸͈̫͍͔̦̌̄̀͊̈́R̴̨̛̛̳͐͑͌̔̾̋́͊̌̍̿͘͝Ȩ̷̢̥̰̞̺̳̫̲̪͎̯͈̜̃̒͂͂̍́́̉̅͊̓͛̾͋͝S̷̬̘͓̯̖̻̐̄̆̎ ̸̡̛̻̼̗̦̬̇̽̂̅̃̋̌͗̀͌͊̚ͅT̶̡̳͙̘̝̹̜͕͇̟̱͖͕̬̀̎̀̈̃̈́̕A̵̬̼͚̭̲͈͆͗̇̈́K̵͙̞̞͖͔̦̖̭̻̥̬̈̀͗̉̅͊̈́̾Ȩ̷̳͇̠̬̭̣̺͔̬̟̱͕̗̫́̓̋͐́̏̈́̐ ̶̪͇̦̠̻̣̜̯̤̳̫̥̖̻́͋̈̑̇͂͒͊͌́͒͘͜͠Ţ̸̛̰͓͙̜̟̥͕͕̣̜͂̈́̌̍̔͋̚Ợ̶̧̖̗̙̣͔̤͈̉́̈́̽͒̿̎̎͜ ̸̖̘͚̀̃̾̑̏͗̈͛͠͝T̸̛͚͎̺̻̱̲̲̐̍͋̈̀̍͐̈́̋͘͜H̴̞̮̳̟̩̹̄̊͐̏̊̒̍̾̾͂́̏̑̚͝ͅE̵̢̡̳̗̣̗̥̽̅̕̚͘ ̵̡̰̣͇̙̗͛̍͐͌̃̌͆̇̚͜P̷͈̮̼͚̝͍̗̙̥͖͓͛Ȋ̷̧͇͇̪̩̺̝̐̇͗̈́͊͌͜T̵̘͚̳̮͌̈́̄͗̿C̸̨̫͎͈̗̹͆̅́̾͌́̚͜H̸̛̛̭̮̎̑̓̾͆͐̽́͘ ̴̻̝͎̞̝̺̮̥̥̪̫̖̲́͂̐̃̀̅͆̋̔͘̚͝ͅI̴̛̯̮̫̩̞̔͒̈́̈̇̈́̎̏͘͝͝Ṋ̵̨͈͙͚̻͚̹͇̥͎̬͕͐̀̅̅̐̕͠ͅ ̸̡̪̲̼̭̩̹͇͚̭͂̑̀̽͜͜͜T̵̥̦͙͇̟̏̀͂̚̚͝H̵͓̺̙̩̖͉͚̙̦͇͔̮̬̾̿́̂́͆̔́̒̀͊͗͝͝͝ͅẸ̴̙̹̝̋͊̃̇̇̚͝ ̸̢̫̎B̵͕͔̭͔̩̗̔̽͑́̉͛̍͛L̵̳̥̩̒̉̊̈̉̈́͑͑̎̈Ő̵̪̞͚̼͍̙͍̤̰̩̋̈́̽̄̉̉͐̍̔O̵̟̞͍̝̺̗͔̥̝͌̑̆̀̓̊̄͜D̸̫̫̳͐͗͐͘̕ ̸̢͙̞̠͖̗̞͖́̌̿͂̚͘͝ͅB̸̡̛̛͇̖̝̯̳͇͖͓̬̩̠̱̀̃̿͐͗̽͋́̊͂̊͠Ō̵̢̡̭̮͇͈͔͈̞͇̗̭̾̄̇͋̆̀̎̿̕̚̕͜͜W̶̡̠̰͎̙̙͕̒̓̆̈́̀̿̃͗ͅĻ̵̛̦̱͚̖̝͊͐̒͐̃͐̊͂̇̚͝.̶̢̨̢͔͇̬̭͎͕̮̈́̃̈̊̀͒͌͝͝