The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
WOOD ELVES, IMPS, UNDEAD, AND LIZARDS FIGHT ON IN DUNGEONBOWL SEMI-FINALS
GOBLINS & HALFLINGS DEBUT IN BLOOD BOWL III
Goblins and Halflings have made their debut in Blood Bowl III and there are already rumblings of old favorites returning to the pitch for season 5.
Mootland Scout Troop 079, coached by Ian, placed second in last season's Dungeonbowl. We asked Ian if we could see a return of MST 079. "Absolutely. I've been in touch with the team, and they've told me they've been working on new plays and new tactics. They've been particularly focused on their braising technique and proper frying for the perfect Maillard reaction. I am always investigating new opportunities for a season and who knows, these new tactics may line up well for next season."
Play it by Nuffle, Clypheous' season 2 goblin team, may also make a return for season 5. They finished 3rd in the season 2 Spike! Magazine Trophy.
"I think goblins have really been honing their craft over the last few years.", said Clypheous. "You really want to focus on a thing and do that thing well. When other teams are focused on how to play the game, goblins are focused on how NOT to play the game. That's the sort of out-of-the-box thinking you need to be a champion. If you're going to cheat, why not have an airborne Doom Diver player? Go big!"
Will we see the return of stunties in season 5? This reporter wholeheartedly hopes so!
Leyten scores the game-tying touchdown in Week 7 to eliminate the Harlequins B.B.F.C. and secure The Dead Poets' spot in the semi-finals.
DIFFERING PLAY STYLES GO HEAD-TO-HEAD IN DUNGEONBOWL SEMI-FINALS
Many different play styles will be represented in this season's Dungeonbowl semi-finals as Wood Elves, Undead, Imperial Nobility, and Lizardman teams all advance to the top 4. Many fans are taking the opportunity to speculate on which play style is the definitively superior play style.
"Look, this is Blood Bowl, not Dodge Bowl. It's all about making hits and drawing blood, plain and simple.", said a Cenozoic Park fan. "Laura Dern III is a nightmare for other teams. She's willing to make the hits she needs to make. There's no tougher player on the pitch."
Other fans have differing opinions. A Forest of Flames fan had this to say: "You can't stop what you can't catch. Wood elves have the fastest, most agile players in the semi-finals. They'll run circles around everyone and score all day long."
Kind Peacocks fans believe in the style of the imperial nobility. "If you control the pitch, you control the game. No one is better at locking down areas of the pitch than the Peacocks are!"
Interestingly, SBever, coach of The Dead Poets, an Undead team, shared his insight as to how to win in Blood Bowl. "Fans talk about bash, agility, pitch control, and even fouling a lot. They're missing the big picture. The way to win is to bribe the commissioners, plain and simple. You can't lose if you can't lose." We asked commissioner EvaUnit02 if this is a valid strategy. "The current exchange rate is $720 per coin. That means The Dead Poets have 219 million dollars in their treasury. Yes, of course it's a valid strategy. If you give me millions of dollars, you will win the Dungeonbowl."
The Dead Poets have 305,000g in their treasury, the most of any semi-finalist. Could this be the strategy that wins them a championship? We'll find out as the semi-finals get under way!
CHAOS DWARFS SEE CHANGE IN TACTICS
Recently, there has been debate on how effective the new chaos dwarf training regiment may or may not be.
It has been revealed that chaos dwarfs have stopped teaching Tackle to rookie players and instead, have been treating them with Iron Hard Skin. Now, their skin is so hard, nothing can modify their armor in any way, shape, or form.
They're also training up two new positionals: one of which is the Flamesmith. The Flamesmith can place players prone on a 4+, avoiding the need to properly block down Blodgers. They're also recruiting hobgoblin Stabbas to get some stab action on the pitch.
Nik Saten, coach of Cenozoic Park, is not keen on the new training regiment. "I think this is a mistake on the chorfs part. They're trading reliability for gimmickry. They should have stayed focused on their ability to block while also propping up the Bull Centaurs as the stars of the show."
Chyme, coach of Nevva Gonna, had a different opinion: "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! STAB! STAB! STAB!"
With two equally compelling arguments, it will be intriguing to see how the new chaos dwarfs play. We hope they'll make an appearance in season 5!