The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
HALF OF TEAMS REMAIN UNDEFEATED ENTERING WEEK 4
THE UNDEAD ARE ALIVE IN DIVISION A
The Dead Poets, coached by SBever, are in first place in Division A entering week 4. They also have the best record in the league with seven league points.
We asked SBever how he feels about having his chance for a playoff spot being resurrected. "We feel pretty good. I wouldn't say our chances have been resurrected. We've always felt strong. We spent the season building our skills and our roster. We feel we're in a good place right now to make the top 4."
We asked SBever if he feels the Poets' shot at the Blood Bowl has been resuscitated. "Again, we never felt out of the competition. We're halfway through regulation in the Dungeonbowl and we feel really good about our chances not just at winning the Dungeonbowl but also winning the Blood Bowl."
We then asked SBever if he has any strategies he'll raise from the dead. "...okay. I see what you're doing. Please stop."
We asked SBever for more information about the Poets' exanimated coaching staff. "This interview is over.", replied SBever.
Can SBever rise from their grave and advance to the Dungeonbowl semi-finals? We'll find out in the second half of the competition!
The Dead Poets and Kind Peacocks lament their draw in week 3.
FOREST OF FLAMES CARRIES TORCH OF BELARNAYLA
The Forest of Flames have a player on their roster which MAML fans are quite excited about. Kaladin is a wardancer who takes after his late uncle, the great Belarnayla.
Belarnayla played for Take Da Wood, Take Da Bad in season 2 of the league. They were unfortunately killed by a Genus Chaos chaos warrior in week 5 of the Spike! Magazine Trophy.
"I hope to do my uncle proud.", said Kaladin. "I've been training for over a year just to have a chance to avenge my uncle. I believe I have made him proud with our victory over Nuffle to see here, the chaos chosen team in our division. Plus, wood elves have made great advances in armor technology. I feel I will have a long and successful career ahead of me."
After investigation, we discovered that the new armor technology seems to be...vines. That's certainly an interesting "advancement" in armor technology. We hope it works out for the Forest of Flames!
CENOZOIC PARK OPENS PUBLIC BLOOD BOWL COACHING BUSINESS
Cenozoic Park is on target to have a shot at consecutive competition wins, something that has never happened in league history. They're now trying to translate this success into new business.
Cenozoic Park has been so successful this competition that their coach, Nik Saten, has decided to start a Blood Bowl coaching business open to the public.
We asked Nik Saten about some core concepts Old World citizens might learn from these lessons. "Blood Bowl is a complex game. We feel we've enough historical results behind us that we can confidently teach a few fundamentals of the game to folks. With these fundamentals under their belt, they can better appreciate the game.
"One important fundamental is to always push on to the ball. When you push on to the ball, the ball will probably bounce a lot. This shakes any grease or other illegal substances off of the ball.
"Another fundamental is to always roll dice. Always. Just roll those dice. You can't succeed if you don't try! Roll, roll, roll. Never stop rolling. Put your faith in Nuffle."
There you have it. Some introductory advice from Nik Saten and what you can expect from their new coaching business: Cenozoic Park - Isla Sorna. Lessons begin the first Wellentag of Sigmarzeit.