The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
UNDEAD, ORCS, AND HUMANS ON TOP AFTER WEEK 1
BLACK ORCS SQUASH WINDBREAKERS' MOMENTUM OUT OF THE GATE
The White Skull Windbreakers opened the competition with a draw against newcomers, Deadly Biscuits.
The White Skull Windbreakers are 11-6-1 this season. As Chaos Cup champions, they have earned a spot in Blood Bowl IV. However, they've had trouble getting started this season.
The Windbreakers opened the season with a draw against the Dead Kennedys. They now begin the Dungeonbowl with a draw again Deadly Biscuits.
It's a strong start for Deadly Biscuits. Debuting in the league with a draw against such a dominant team and against the current league champion sets the stage for great expectations. "It's all a psychological game.", said Runbad, coach of Deadly Biscuits. "You don't need to beat the team. You need to beat the team...in their minds."
We checked with league commissioners and confirmed that mind points do not count for league standings. Still, we're excited to see how this competition shapes up for these two teams!
The Teen Wolf & Friends cheerleading squad cheers as the team scores their first touchdown of the competition.
SCOUTS LOOKING TO COLLEGE TEAMS AS DUNGEONBOWL KICKS IN TO GEAR
The MAML Dungeonbowl is named after the version of the game played by the colleges of magic. While the MAML Dungeonbowl is a professional competition, the colleges still run their games and franchises still scout for upcoming stars to hire for the next season.
One player coaches have an eye out for is Akhorne the Squirrel. Akhorne has been playing for the Amethyst Order.
Akhorne has had a great college career so far, being quite fast on the pitch. A tiny player, Akhorne is incredibly agile and able to dodge between players legs. As such, Akhorne has found much success charging at opposing ball carriers with no fear.
There certainly is a lack of representation of squirrels in the game of Blood Bowl. For that reason alone, we hope to see a team pick up Akhorne in next season's draft. Plus, it would be a great DLC model for Cyanide and think of the kit-bashed donuts and also JUST GIVE ME AKHORNE IN BLOOD BOWL III ALREADY, WOULD YOU PLEASE!?
EDITOR'S NOTE: We're not sure who wrote that final line. It snuck in to the final draft at the last minute. We at the Gazette apologize.
SNOTLINGS PROVE THEIR METTLE
Subductisupercilicarptors put in a great showing against the Spike! Magazine Trophy runners-up, the Real American Heroes, to open the competition.
Subductis had a strong start to open the game with a second-quarter touchdown to take the lead. With a strong player advantage, the Real American Heroes would score early in the second half, tying the game at 1-1.
Subductis and their coach, BRSRKRTempest, put up a valiant fight but lost the game with a failed dodge. The Real American Heroes would win 2-1.
Subductisupercilicarptors have been hurt by a mid-season rules change which prevents snotlings from swarming. However, BRSRKRTempest seems to have found a way to pivot.
I interviewed Cleopatra, the #7 snotling for Subductis, as to what the team's new strategy might be. "Oh...oh, god. Please, help me!", pleaded Cleopatra. "How did I get here? Why am I on a Blood Bowl team!? I'm two feet tall! The coach just keeps telling me to go out there and get set on the line! I'm going to die! PLEASE! CALL THE POLICE! I DON'T BELONG HERE!"
Being a former Blood Bowl running back myself, I can certainly understand the early competition jitters. I'm sure Cleopatra will get over them quickly and give us a great Dungeonbowl!