The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
WHITE SKULL WINDBREAKERS CONTINUE TO WAAAGH THEIR WAY THROUGH THE SEASON
KARLA VON KILL JOINS THE LEAGUE AFTER UNANIMOUS VOTE BY COACHES
Karla Von Kill was the second star player in as many weeks to take to the pitch for the Television Terrors.
All of the coaches in the Spike! Magazine Trophy demanded that the Television Terrors be given the opportunity to field another star player after Griff Oberwald himself took to the pitch last week. League coaches started a GoFundMe to add to the Terror's petty cash.
"We got together and thought: what better dream than having star players play for the most spectacular team in the league?", said SBever, coach of The Dead Poets. "We all love the Television Terrors so very much and really want them to succeed. We just get so excited when star players flock to the team to play. It's a dream come true for both them and us!"
We at the Gazette couldn't agree more. We also think the coach of the Television Terrors is quite handsome.
You didn't think anything other than human pictures would be here for the next five weeks, did you?
WHITE SKULL WINDBREAKERS REMAIN UNDEFEATED THIS SEASON
The White Skull Windbreakers have yet to lose a game this season. The Windbreakers finished the Chaos Cup 5-3-0. They are currently 3-1-0 in the Spike! Magazine Trophy.
Elfitus Australis, a wood elf team coached by Aeric, has been the only team to draw the Windbreakers so far this competition. It has otherwise been a grueling match-up for the rest of Division B as the Windbreakers have found themselves scoring 2 TDs per win.
We asked Aeric if he has any pointers for fellow Division B teams going up against the Windbreakers. "Be big and strong, like elf!", said Aeric. "Armor for babies. Baby Bowl! Bring only muscle, no armor! Make big hit like elf. Break orc bone! No WAAGH when no living!"
We asked Aeric why his style of speech has changed recently. "We learn big strong from famous Blood Bowl player, Zangief! Wear few clothes. Make big hits! He say spinning pile driver way to success!"
We have yet to find any record of a Blood Bowl player by the name of Zangief. We will keep readers posted as we continue our research.
LIZARDMEN ARE AT THE TOP OF THE CHARTS
Cenozoic Park is dominating Division A in first place with seven wins on the season, only one less than DougTheMinotaur's White Skull Windbreakers.
Cenozoic Park has played against Chaos Renegades, Orcs, and even another Lizardman team this competition. This week, they finally defeated their nemesis, Nevva Gonna, who bested Cenozoic Park three times prior.
We asked Nik Saten, coach of Cenozoic Park, what strategies he has employed to meet such success this season.
"It may seem a little eccentric but we've taken up dance and singing lessons.", said Nik. "Defensive backs are trained to watch the hips. Our skinks are fragile; so, we needed a way to fake out the defensive secondary. We now sing a song in unison and sway our hips as per our choreographed dance moves. It has worked wonders so far and I imagine our future opponents will continue to be confounded by what we call our SingStar offense."
Cenozoic Park fans have begun to dance along with the team's offense. Songs like "The Skink Skedaddle" and "I'm So Saurus For Your Loss" have become staple intermissions at Cenozoic Park home games.
We wish Nik Saten continued success with this innovative strategy!