The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
WOOD ELVES SPRUCE THEMSELVES UP TO GET TO THE ROOT OF THE DWARF PROBLEM
HALFLINGS REMAIN IN TOP SPOTS IN WEEK 6
Oh Nuffle, great God of Dice, why have you forsaken us? Have we not been ever faithful? Have we not always praised your dice, regardless of outcome?
What is your plan for us, oh wise Nuffle? Are we to be subjugated to Halflings? To forever be enthralled by the delicious aromas of their master chefs?
Please guide us, Nuffle. Help us to understand your plan. If we are to stop the Halfling menace, please guide our hands to roll true and in your service.
Praise be your name, Nuffle. We honor the dice. We honor you.
Jackmerius Tacktheritrix has his collar bone smashed by Sundae Kid while defending his teammate who would score the game-winning touchdown.
DONKEY TEETH DELIVER SECOND LOSS TO DINNERBELL DARLINGS
Donkey Teeth becomes the second team this competition to defeat the seemingly unstoppable Dinnerbell Darlings. They defeated the Darlings this week, 1-0.
The Dinnerbell Darlings, coached by DougTheMinotaur, removed six wood elves from the pitch by turn 13. However, Donkey Teeth's Hingle McCringleberry was able to score despite seven dwarfs bearing down on him at the 24 yard-line.
This win catapults Donkey Teeth and their coach, Dead Fred, to first place in Division A, giving hope to the league. You can be sure that the rest of the coaches in the competition will be studying the tape and adjusting their strategies to attempt to become the third team to defeat the Darlings.
FRIENDLY NEIGHBOR KAIJU REMAIN UNDEFEATED AFTER WEEK 6
Merek's Friendly Neighbor Kaiju solidifies their first place spot in Division B.
The Kaiju are the only remaining undefeated team in the league, with a record of 5-1-0. We asked Merek what his advice was for consistent performance on the pitch.
"Well, it seems very simple at first blush, but it's really rather complicated.", said Merek. "Lots of coaches will focus on play calling, roster composition, or team value. What we think the real focus for a team should be not losing."
"See, when you lose, you aren't winning. Winning is the goal of any game. So, you want to do that. You want to not lose. So, focus on being the team who wins. It's a mistake a lot of coaches make."
Very wise advice from the #1 coach in this competition. Rivals take note!