The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
HALFLINGS PROVE THEMSELVES EARLY IN DUNGEONBOWL
UNDERWEAR BEATS ARMOR IN WEEK 2
The Arendelle Ice Breakers currently lead Division A with a record of 2-0-0.
As a Norse team, the Ice Breakers are known for wearing very little armor. Most coaches find low armor to be a liability but not Chyme, the coach of the Arendelle Ice Breakers.
"Sure, wearing little armor makes us more mobile and makes blocking a lot easier", said Chyme. "However, people often neglect the secondary advantage: teams being distracted by our sculpted Adonis-like physiques. It can really throw a team off of its rhythm."
We asked Malloc73 if he felt this was a viable Blood Bowl tactic. "Oh, absolutely. I mean, who wouldn't look at a sexy snow troll and not get distracted?"
No doubt, Malloc73 is hoping not to meet the Ice Breakers in the top 4 cut.
...or maybe he is.
Apropos of Nuffle's Paladin prepares to eat a turkey leg, along with the ball, after scoring.
COOKING BASED TACTICS PROVE SUCCESSFUL
Halfling teams topped Division B after Week One wins in the Dungeonbowl. Apropos of Nuffle leads the division while Mootland Scout Troop 079 currently sits in fourth place.
Clypheous, coach of Apropos of Nuffle, had this to say about his strategy for this competition: "A lot of coaches focus on strength or agility. We thought to ourselves, what if we focus on delicious meals instead? Everyone loves to eat."
The strategy has thus far proven effective. In Week One, Apropos of Nuffle hired a Halfling Master Chef. The aroma from his meals were so intoxicating, The Dead Prezidents lost a total of six rerolls over the course of the game.
"We already have a playbook full of different meals.", said Clypheous. "While our opponents will be busy wasting time with formations and play calling, we're getting down to the real core of the game: course selection and flatware placement. We have high expectations this competition!"
NIK SATEN INVESTS IN SCHOOLS FOR DUNGEONBOWL
Stadium upgrades tend to be a late-season consideration for most teams. Tha Street is making their debut in the Dungeonbowl; however, Nik Saten is already meeting with investors to build upgrades ASAP.
"The simple fact of the matter is that Ogres are dummies.", said Nik Saten. "We have no hope of winning this competition unless we can teach these guys to play and focus on the game." Ogres are historically known for being extremely bone-headed. Many in the league have wondered if the investment will be effective.
Nik Saten continued, "Once that's finished, we're going to seek another 100,000 gold for an extensive weight-training center for our gnoblars. I think we can probably double or even triple their strength if we're diligent."
One wonders if Tha Street is trading solvency for Dungeonbowl success. Even if they make the semi-finals, the club might not be around at that point to participate. Here's hoping Nik Saten's plan pays off!