The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
KNIGHTS OF (K)NUFFLE AND DINNERBELL DARLINGS LOCK IN SEMI-FINALS SPOT
DINNERBELL DARLINGS UNDEFEATED GOING IN TO FINAL WEEK OF REGULAR PLAY
The Dinnerbell Darlings will advance to the Spike! Magazine Trophy semi-finals with an undefeated record of 6-0-0.
The Darlings have only lost a single game all season, losing to “That's kinda catchy?” in the Chaos Cup finals. Donkey Teeth (4-1-1) and the Friendly Neighbor Kaiju (3-1-2) are duking it out for the second spot.
"There are too many teams with 'D's", exclaimed Merek, coach of the Friendly Neighbor Kaiju. "I don't see how the dastardly and devious Donkey Teeth deem themselves deserving of duking it out with the dwarfs of Dinnerbell Darlings. Those delinquents are not as dependable and durable as the Kaiju. Also, doo doo."
We'll see if the Kaiju can decidedly deliver on their self-determined destiny or if their delicate skinks are doomed to die.
Thomas Jefferson scores the game-tying touchdown against the Knights of (k)Nuffle.
DIVISION A HEATS UP IN WEEK 7
Five teams in Division A are still in contention for the second spot in the Spike! Magazine Trophy semi-finals.
The Knights of (k)Nuffle have already earned their spot in the semi-finals with a record of 4-2-0 going in to week 7. However, the Damaged Dragons, Mazda-homies, Skitter Twitch Die-die, The Dead Prezidents, and the Masters of MAML are all duking it out for the second spot.
The Damaged Dragons (3-1-2) will advance if they win their game against the Masters of MAML (2-2-2). The Mazda-homies (3-1-2) will advance if they defeat the Knights of (k)Nuffle and the Damaged Dragons lose their game.
Skitter Twitch Die-die (2-3-1) can advance if they win their game against the Bru Meisters this week while neither the Damaged Dragons nor the Mazda-homies win. Skitter Twitch Die-die has another avenue for advancement: a draw. If they draw and both the Damaged Dragons and Mazda-homies lose, they will advance.
The Dead Prezidents (2-3-1) must win their game against Bone Nails this week. Damaged Dragons, Mazda-homies, and Skitter Twitch Die-die must all not win (read: lose or draw) for the Prezidents to stand a reasonable chance at the semi-finals.
Interestingly, the Masters of MAML (2-2-2) are still in contention as well. If they win their game against the Damaged Dragons while the Mazda-homies, Skitter Twitch Die-die, and The Dead Prezidents all not win, then they will advance to the semi-finals.
It's a very exciting and very close race in Division A. We can't wait to see how it shakes out!
THE DEAD PREZIDENTS BEGIN CONSTRUCTION ON NEW STADIUM ENHANCEMENT
The Dead Prezidents have upgraded their stadium to allow for future enhancement.
Rumors abound as to what enhancement the Prezidents may install. Some believe a magic shop is in the works. Still others believe a squig sandwich kiosk will be installed. However, the Gazette spoke directly with EvaUnit02 and got the inside scoop.
"We're installing a memorial to all the players we've killed on other teams and resurrected to player for ours.", said EvaUnit02. "We want to remember the tragedies that were the lives of players like Mr. McKenzie and Suiônduil Neltaelen. What an awful existence to have had suffered. We often take for granted how lucky we are to be undead. This memorial is for them and every other blood bowl player who is currently living. We hope one day we can give them all a Dead Prezidents jersey. Until then, they're in our thoughts."
What a wholesome sentiment.