The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
OLD WORLD HEALTH IMPROVES AS VERMIN EXTERMINATED
FANS REJOICE AS BLOOD BOWL III RELEASED SIX MONTHS EARLY
Fans of Blood Bowl were met with a surprise last Monday. Purchasers of the Brutal Edition were to be treated to a 48-hour early unlock, but it was decided that the game would be released for all players six months early.
"This is awesome!", said Malloc, coach of the Bru Meisters. "Not only do we have the game in our hands six months early, we get to experience software development in real time! It's like having access to a behind-the-scenes tour!"
Coaches universally praised the news and not a single person had anything negative to say about the release what-so-ever.
The Knights of (k)Nuffle removed eight Skitter Twitch Die-die players this week.
KNIGHTS OF (K)NUFFLE ERADICATE RAT INFESTATION ON PITCH
Old World residents rejoiced as rat-born illness figures dropped sharply after the game between the Knights of (k)Nuffle and Skitter Twitch Die-die this week.
After the Knights caused three casualties and five knock-outs, locals suddenly began to feel more vibrant and more energetic, says local apothecaries.
"We've needed a good exterminator for a long time", says James Jameson, a local carpenter. "Any time one would set up shop, the vermintide would obliterate their establishment. It's nice to see a professional who finally knows what they're doing."
Clypheous, coach of the Knights of (k)Nuffle, is currently taking extermination contracts for all of your Skaven infestation needs. He has provided his information, on the left, to the Gazette for our readers.
DARK ELVES AND DWARFS ADVANCE TO CHAOS CUP SEMI-FINALS
The Masters of MAML and the Dinnerbell Darlings both secured their spot in the Chaos Cup semi-finals last week, each with spotless records of 6-0-0.
The Masters of MAML are currently the top seed with a touchdown differential of 13. The Dinnerbell Darlings are close behind with a touchdown differential of 11.
We asked the Masters of MAML coach, El Nooberino, if seeding will play a factor in their team's week 7 strategy. "Absolutely.", he said. "With the Darlings only two touchdowns behind, we will be monitoring the game results closely and trying to ensure we can get the most advantageous semi-final pairing we can. We'll definitely be playing to hit a sweet spot in terms of touchdowns this week."
DougTheMinotaur, coach of the Dinnerbell Darlings, said the seeding wouldn't be much of a factor. "Drink and smash. That's what we do. Our strategy for week 7 is to drink and smash. Our strategy for the semi-finals will be to smash and then drink."
Experts suggest that the subtle difference between the Darlings' regular-play strategy and their playoff strategy may be a brilliant move by DougTheMinotaur. Time will tell if that is the case.