The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
DWARFS AND ELVES REMAIN UNDEFEATED
CARNY-VORES CLIMB THE LADDER WITH HIGH-FLYING ACROBATICS
The Carny-vores finished week 4 in 4th place in Division B with their win against "That's kinda catchy?".
No one could have predicted the Carny-vores would be this successful at this point in the competition...and they have a tough road ahead of them.
"We've been working on our acrobatics all week. That's really where our strength lies", said Nik Saten, head coach for the Carny-vores. "We're a lot better at our assemblés and grande jetés than we were at the beginning of the competition. Tactically, focusing on strong arabesque has really been the right call, in my opinion."
When we asked how ballet moves could help in a game of Blood Bowl, Nik Saten assured us that they are not ballet moves and, in fact, are time-tested Blood Bowl agile maneuvers.
We can't wait to see what the Carny-vores' tour-en-l'airs can bring to the pitch.
He-Man scores a defensive touchdown for the Masters of MAML
MASTERS OF MAML AND DINNERBELL DARLINGS SEEMINGLY INDOMITABLE
The Masters of MAML and the Dinnerbell Darlings each lead their respective divisions with a flawless record of 4-0-0.
The Masters of MAML, a dark elf team, defeated The Dead Prezidents 2-1 while the Dinnerbell Darlings, a dwarf team, defeated Skitter Twitch Die-die 2-1 this week.
"We're considering our strategy very carefully for the potential matchup in the finals", said El Nooberino, coach for the Masters of MAML. "An assassin might be a good hire but I think we could do real damage with a witch elf. Really, whatever we decide to do strategically, it will hinge on expert tactics in order to win the day. I believe we have it within us to come out victorious on that inevitably fateful day."
"Ttthurr skulls...in thur tiny little hands...thass what I think we...we will...::blech::...we...what was I saying?", stammered DougTheMinotaur, coach for the Dinnerbell Darlings. "Imf pretty shoar we'll..HA HA! We'll smash thur tiny bonsch in to dust wiff our thick skulsh! Strachedy? Our straveity isch to SMASH THUR FACESSS...::burp::"
Dave Daverson, the Gazette's expert analyst, has concluded that the Dinnerbell Darlings' game plan is 80% more solid than the Masters of MAML's game plan. "You can see how carefully planned and meticulously calculated DougTheMinotaur's plan is", said Daverson. "El Nooberino really just sounds like he's drunk. He could stand to take a page from DougTheMinotaur's playbook."
UNDEAD DIE OF SHAME
40% of The Dead Prezidents' roster died last week. The cause of death is reportedly of shame.
"It turns out you can kill an undead after all", said EvaUnit02, head coach for The Dead Prezidents. "You just have to kill them with shame."
Despite having solid positioning and a wide lane to run, The Dead Prezidents lost the ball in the first half to the Masters of MAML due to a blizzard GFI, giving the elven team an opportunity to score.
"I just...thought it would be funny", remarked EvaUnit02.
Abraham Lincoln, The #02 wight for the Prezidents was unamused: "At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer. If it ever reach us it must spring up amongst us; it cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot we must ourselves be its author and finisher."
"We have a necromancer on the support staff for a reason", said EvaUnit02. "Thankfully, memory can be a bit hazy after a resurrection. We'll just tell the team that they died to a wizard's fireball or something."
The Prezidents' necromancer is in for a long week ahead of him.