The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
THE SEASON 3 CHAOS CUP IS UNDERWAY!
PRAISE FOR ELVES SHOWERS THE LEAGUE
MAML just can't get enough of elves, it seems.
After the debut of wood elves last season along with the return of dark elves, coaches were so enamoured with the teams that 25% of this season's Chaos Cup is filled by elvish teams.
"I just wholeheartedly love elves", said BRSRKRTempest, coach of Skitter Twitch Die-die. "They are just beautiful creatures. Honestly, it's a shame that at least 75% of the competition hasn't been registered as elves."
BRSRKRTempest reportedly has donated 2,000,000 gold toward Apothecaries in Elvish Estates (Stylized as "AIEE!"), a charity organization dedicated to helping injured elves get back on their feet. AIEE! says the donation will go toward building an orthopedic center named after the beloved league wardancer: Belarnayla.
"We already have a name for the center", said AIEE!. "Elvish bones tend to break often and repeatedly inside the pitch. After treatment, rest and relaxation is paramount to ensure a full and speedy recovery. As such, we're going to build the Severe Trauma Repeated Inside Pitch: Belarnayla Adjunct Leisure Lounge. We feel it will be a tremendous addition and will help get all elves on the road to recovery faster so as to ensure they can return to the pitch in no time! We are very grateful for Mr. BRSRKRTempest's generous donation. Who knew he loved elves so much?"
Take the Wood, Take the Bad's Belarnayla scoring a TD during a game last season.
THE LEAGUE OPENS WITH ITS BIGGEST COMPETITION YET
Season three of the Mid-Atlantic Mauling League kicks off this month with the biggest competition in league history. Sixteen teams will be competing not only to claim Clypheous' title as Chaos Cup champion, but also to secure a slot in this year's Blood Bowl to be crowned league champion and win a copy of Blood Bowl III!
Last season saw a strong bashy field with chaos dwarfs, chaos, and lizardmen taking to the pitch. This year, it looks like the tide has shifted toward agile teams. Four elvish teams, three skaven teams, and an amazon team will be participating in the Chaos Cup this year. They're not getting away from the bash game; however, as chaos dwarfs, necro, bret, dwarfs, undead, Kislev, and khemri will all be participating as well.
A much wider variety of races with the largest number of teams yet is bound to make for some exciting games, innovative plays, and wild upsets. I'm looking forward to it. I hope you are, too!
BLOOD BOWL GOOD FOR THE HEART, SAYS EXPERTS
New medical research suggests playing blood bowl can be good for your heart.
"There are numerous benefits besides the obvious physical activity", says Dr. Dockerson, an Old World cardiologist. "Blood Bowl can be extremely strenuous. It's important to takes regular breaks after intense activity to get the heart rate back down. Blood bowl is perfect for this as players will often find themselves waking up on the bench after being knocked out."
He continued: "If you do find yourself in the emergency situation where your heart stops and you need resuscitation, there is no better place to be than in a blood bowl stadium. There is certain to be a wizard somewhere in the stands who can cast a lightning bolt and get that ticker started right back up in no time!"
NOTE: The Gazette was unable to verify Dr. Dockerson's credentials at the time of writing but we are assured by the league that he is a well respected doctor.