The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
BLOOD BOWL II HAS BEGUN!
PITY THE GHOUL IS UNDEFEATED DUNGEONBOWL CHAMPION
Pity the Ghoul defeated the previous Dungeonbowl champion, Jingles All The Way, to take the title and become the new champion with an undefeated record.
In a tense and exciting match, Pity the Ghoul won the Dungeonbowl championship 1-0 in a nail-biter after a failed turn 16 pass by Jingles All The Way. Pity the Ghoul ends the Dungeonbowl with a record of 5-2-0.
Pity the Ghoul will advance to the upper bracket of the Blood Bowl to take on Knee-High to Nuffle. Knee-High to Nuffle has had only one loss this season.
Pity the Ghoul and Knee-High to Nuffle faced off just one time this season: week 1 of the Dungeonbowl. That game ended in a draw.
Pity the Ghoul is likely to have a four-appendage advantage going in to the game. That ought to help with...I dunno, getting the mail or doing laundry or something.
Jingles All The Way thrower, Chili's Baby Back Ribs, attempts a turn 16 pass to tie the game.
BASHY TEAMS SET TO DUKE IT OUT
Five teams are advancing to this year's Blood Bowl, all of which are heavy hitters.
In the upper bracket are Knee-High to Nuffle, A Reptile Dysfunkshun, and Pity the Ghoul: chaos dwarfs, lizardmen, and necromantic horror, respectively.
In the lower bracket, Pips Pippy Fan Club, a lizardman team, takes on Jingles All the Way, an orc team.
With so much strength and so many bashy skills in this championship, it's bound to be a blood bath.
"I hope they all lose", said Tracksuit Mafia coach, Merek. "I hope every last one of them loses."
When asked how it could be possible for all five teams to lose, Merek replied: "With Nuffle, all things are possible. Who knows? Maybe I'll just stack the stands with wizards and nuke the teams from orbit."
After the threat, the league is reportedly carefully checking all ticket holders for signs of wizardry.
FANS SAY GOODBYE TO DOGGOS
Balki Bartokomous, #13 for Pity the Ghoul, died in the Dungeonbowl championship marking the second highly skilled werewolf to die in the competition.
Fellow teammate, Scooby Doo, died in week 3 of the competition due to a crowd surf by Petting Zoo Players' star player, Roxanna.
"I will miss those doggos", said Dead Fred, coach of Pity the Ghoul. "They were good boys."
"The league has been done a service", commented DougTheMinotaur, coach of Petting Zoo Players. "Werewolves bring with them flea problems that are expensive to remedy."
We at the Gazette do wonder who will now solve ghostly mysteries or help Mr. Larry Appleton with rent.