The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
ORCS VS. NECRO IN DUNGEONBOWL FINALS
FAN HOPES TO BE REUNITED WITH LOVED ONE
A Pity the Ghoul fan is hoping the team will answer his prayers and bring his late grandfather back from the grave.
"When I saw Pity the Ghoul's necromancer kill Genus Chaos' Mayhem and then bring him back to life, I couldn't believe it", said Nick Nicholson.
"My dream is to play a pickup game of Blood Bowl with my grandpa again. We used to play in the backyard. I remember it clearly. It was a pivotal time of my childhood. I'm hoping Dead Fred [head coach of Pity the Ghoul —ed.] will receive my letter and help me out. It would mean the world to me."
We asked Mr. Nicholson what other fond memories he had of his grandfather: "None. I hated the guy. I just want one final chance to drive a deathroller over his stupid face."
The bonds of family are some of the strongest bonds of all.
Chili's Baby Back Ribs scores on turn 16 to win the Division A Championship for Jingles All The Way.
BLOOD BOWL BRACKET IS SET
Pity the Ghoul and Jingles All The Way won their respective divisions this week to advance to the Dungeonbowl final. In doing so, they've earned the final two slots in the Blood Bowl.
This year's Blood Bowl is a good mix of teams. Clypheous won the Chaos Cup with an undefeated record of 5-2-0 and will coach the chaos dwarfs of Knee-High to Nuffle. Nik Saten won the Spike! Magazine Trophy and returns to defend his title as he coaches the lizards of A Reptile Dysfunkshun. El Nooberino advances in the lower bracket with the lizards of Pips Pippy Fan Club, having lost to just two teams in that competition.
The final two slots have been earned by the Dungeonbowl finalists. Whomever wins will advance in the upper bracket while the other will advance in the lower bracket. The orcs of Jingles All The Way are coached by Vengure, the current Dungeonbowl champion. The necromantic horror of Pity the Ghoul is coached by Dead Fred and is the last remaining undefeated team in the competition.
With two fantastic coaches and two excellent rosters, it's impossible to say who will come out on top. We are excited to watch this one play out!
CPOMB DEEMED SAFE FOR USE
Three chaos teams participated this season but none were able to make it out on top, despite fears from the league.
Coaches were fearful of the Claw + Piling On + Mighty Blow combination of skills as it takes opposing players off of the pitch about one in four times.
Tracksuit Mafia made the cut three times this season but couldn't crack the semi-finals. They lost to two lizard teams and a necro team. They were able to obtain two players with Claw + Mighty Blow but were never able to pick up that final skill of the dreaded trifecta.
The season began as a particularly bashy line-up of teams but more agile teams began to enter, level, and take shape as the season unfolded.
"We don't think any changes are necessary just yet", said league commissioner, EvaUnit02. "However, we're continuing to monitor the situation and study the tapes to see what needs to be changed, if anything." We asked what changes the league were considering to help mitigate the massive effectiveness of the skill combo.
"Hmm? Oh...oh, no. We're not thinking of reducing the effectiveness of CPOMB. We're thinking of giving it to all chaos teams right from the jump." We questioned how wise this course of action would be. EvaUnit02 replied, "This is the Mid-Atlantic Mauling League, not the Mid-Atlantic Hugging League. Wait until you hear our proposal for AV6 elf armor!"
We here at the Gazette fear for the future of the sport.