The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
SEVEN TEAMS LEFT VYING FOR A SHOT AT THE DUNGEONBOWL SEMI-FINALS
TEAMS FIGHTING FOR A SHOT AT THE BLOOD BOWL
Twelve teams began the Dungeonbowl. Just seven are left with a shot at the semi-finals.
A Miner Matter and Tracksuit Mafia have guaranteed their place in the Dungeonbowl from Division A and Division B respectively.
While this will be A Miner Matter's first shot at a competition finals bracket, this will be Tracksuit Mafia's third attempt in as many competitions. They have yet to qualify for the Blood Bowl.
In Division A, Take da Wood, Take da Bad will face off against Jingles All the Way in week 5. The winner of that game will advanced to the semi-finals. If it's a draw, Jingles All the Way will advance. Jingles All the Way is coached by Vengure, the reigning Dungeonbowl champion. He won last year's Dungeonbowl with another Orc team, the Orclund Raiderz.
In Division B, there are three teams vying for the second-place spot. If Pity the Ghoul wins their game against Tracksuit Mafia, Pity the Ghoul will advance to the semi-finals. Both teams are currently undefeated.
If Pity the Ghoul loses, that opens the door for Banzai Legends or Knee-High to Nuffle to take the second-place spot. Both teams need a win to advance. Moreover, Knee-High to Nuffle would need to win by a margin of at least 2.
What an exciting final week of regulation play we're about to see! Good luck to all coaches!
Take da Wood, Take da Bad's lineman, Uhlsgaliel, scores in their game against the Nurgle Burgle Boyz.
NOT A SINGLE WOOD ELF HURT THIS WEEK!
I've never been prouder in my life.
NEIGHBORHOODS FEAR THE RETURN OF LIZARDMEN
With the imminence of the league's second season championship tournament, Blood Bowl II, neighborhoods are beginning preparations.
"We've set up barbed wire around our community", said Suzie Sussinson, local HOA board member. "Those lizards come in to town, wreak havoc, and eat like...fourteen people! Every single time they're in town!"
Both A Reptile Dysfunkshun and Pips Pippy Fan Club, lizardman teams, are in this year's Blood Bowl.
Chris Christopherson, local lizard loather, had this to say: "Suzie thinks barbed wire will be enough but she's just thinking about those lizardmen and kroxigors. She's not thinking about those sneaky skinks!" He continued, "I've hired a squad of dwarf deathrollers to patrol our neighborhood. Nothing's coming away alive after being steamrolled by one of those!"
El Nooberino, head coach of Pips Pippy Fan Club, asked the Gazette, "Why do you keep interviewing Mr. Christopherson? He obviously hates lizards and you are obviously promoting that. What's your deal?"
We at the Gazette take umbrage with El Nooberino's claim. We have nothing but contempt disdain antipathy scorn seething hatred repugnance revulsion disgust hostility malice adoration for lizards.