The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
LIZARD MIRROR MATCH IN SPIKE! MAGAZINE FINALS
TRACKSUIT MAFIA DENIED SECOND SHOT AT BLOOD BOWL
After a record season going 4-0-0, Tracksuit Mafia was finally defeated after a pair of losses to each lizardman team in the competition, knocking out their hope for an invitation to the Blood Bowl with this competition.
"Those lizards are ridiculous", said Merek, head coach for Tracksuit Mafia. "Where on Earth does one even find six sauruses? Let alone six lucid enough to play Blood Bowl?"
Lizardman super fan, Chris Christopherson, had this to say about Tracksuit Mafia's defeat: "NONE OF YOU WOULD LISTEN! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU IGNORE MY WARNINGS! THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU! FIRST THEY BREAK YOUR BONES AND THEN...THEN THEY BREAK YOUR SOUL!"
We here at the Gazette are thankful for Mr. Christopherson's analysis.
Pickles, the Kroxigor of A Reptile Dysfunkshun, is about to take a bite out of Skip-It, Play it by Nuffle's Fanatic.
A REPTILE DYSFUNKSHUN FACES PIPS PIPPY FAN CLUB IN A RUNBACK OF WEEK 1
The Spike! Magazine Trophy ends as it began. A Reptile Dysfunkshun faced Pips Pippy Fan Club in week one of the competition. The game concluded in a 1-1 draw.
Pips Pippy Fan Club was the fourth seed coming in to the semi-finals, defeating the first seed, Tracksuit Mafia, 2-1. It was just the second lost of the competition for Tracksuit Mafia. The other was to A Reptile Dysfunkshun in week five.
A Reptile Dysfunkshun was the second seed coming in to the semi-finals, defeating the third seed, Play it by Nuffle, 2-0. This will be Nik Saten's second shot at the Blood Bowl this season. A Reptile Dysfunkshun has already qualified in the lower bracket. Nik Saten is looking to make the upper bracket with a Spike! Magazine Trophy championship.
An all-lizardman finals is bound to be a bashy, bloody affair. Stadium clean-up crews are already running drills for the ensuing carnage in the finals.
We interviewed lizardman super fan, Chris Christopherson, who had this to say about the upcoming championship game: "I TOLD YOU THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! FIRST THE BEASTMEN. THEN, THE GOBLINS. WE'RE NEXT, YOU KNOW. THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!"
We here at the Gazette certainly share in Mr. Christopherson's enthusiasm.
GOBLINS RECONSIDER ARMOR VENDOR
Clypheous, head coach for Play it by Nuffle, is looking for new armor vendors after being eliminated from this year's Spike! Magazine Trophy.
"The paper mâché just wasn't working out for us this year", said Clypheous. He continued: "We're looking at more resilient alternatives. Things like styrofoam or even heavy blankets."
Lizardman super fan, Chris Christopherson, weighed in with his opinion on the goblin armor: "WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE EATEN! THE LIZARDS WILL KILL US ALL! NOT EVEN NUFFLE CAN SAVE US! WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE EATEN! DO YOU HEAR ME!? WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE EATEN!"
We here at the Gazette certainly appreciate Mr. Christopherson's insight in to goblin armor.