The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
GOBLINS, LIZARDS, CHAOS ADVANCE TO SEMI-FINALS
GOBLINS AREN'T AFRAID OF THE BASH
Play it by Nuffle finds themselves the odd team out as they face a trio of bashy opponents in the upcoming Spike! Magazine Trophy bracket.
Play it by Nuffle, a goblin team, is at a significant strength disadvantage as they prepare to face off against A Reptile Dysfunkshun in the semi-finals and either Tracksuit Mafia or Pips Pippy Fan Club in the finals.
"Strength advantage? Are you kidding me? Have you ever heard of a little thing called chainsaw-your-face advantage?", asked Clypheous, head coach of Play it by Nuffle.
"We also have various other advantages such as bomb-in-your-face advantage, steel-ball-in-your-face advantage, and oh-look-who-has-enough-money-to-bribe-the-refs advantage. Who needs strength advantage?"
Clypheous concluded the interview by asking, "You ever heard of a fella by the name of Scrappa Sorehead? You want to talk about advantages? Yeah, let's talk about advantages!"
Belarnayla of Take da Wood, Take da Bad died in Thursday's game from a block sustained from Genus Chaos' chaos warrior, Disorganization.
PIPS PIPPY FAN CLUB ADVANCES TO SEMI-FINALS AFTER TAKE DA WOOD, TAKE DA BAD DEFEAT
Take da Wood, Take da Bad lost to Genus Chaos this week, putting an end to their bid to defend their title this year. Belarnayla, their defacto passer, died in the game.
"Bela will be deeply missed", said EvaUnit02, head coach of Take da Wood, Take da Bad. "Bela started out like any other lineman but then worked hard on the agility drills week in and week out. Then he came to me and said, 'Coach...I want to be a passer.' We decided to take a chance on him and it paid off for us in spades. We will miss him deeply and hope we can qualify for the Blood Bowl in the upcoming Dungeonbowl. Our Dungeonbowl games will be dedicated to his memory."
El Nooberino, head coach of Pips Pippy Fan Club, offered his commiserations: "Belarnayla? More like BelarDIEla! HAAAA HA HA HAAA! We're going to the semi-finals, baby!"
LIZARD TUSSLE SPARKS CONTROVERSY
Twenty-four lizards are taking to the pitch in this year's Spike! Magazine Trophy Finals and it has locals concerned.
Locals of the city where this year's Spike! Magazine Trophy Finals is taking place are in an uproar after a number of lizards ate their friends and family.
Chris Christopherson had this to say, "Didn't we tell you this was going to happen a few weeks ago!? Why is nobody doing anything about this??"
When we asked which of the two lizard teams he favored in this year's finals, he responded: "WHY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME? THEY ARE GOING TO KILL US ALL!"
Shortly afterward, Mr. Christopherson's wife was swallowed whole by a Kroxigor.
We here at the paper had a good chuckle and are confident Mr. Christopherson saw the humor in it as well after he finished weeping.